time to sort

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


So the last post was a first reaction now i have had time to sort. Im still angry/hurt, im still confused and I still want to find a way to work things out. Although I know that what she did was probably the most fair thing to do, for not only herself but for me as well. As much as I could see us being together , as much as I believed this could work it takes two. I cant compete with the memories that she carries from her past and I shouldnt have to. I can believe in something with all my heart but I cant believe for both of us. I know what is meant to be will be. I just have to believe that eveything she has told me has been true. I have to believe that she wants to give me eveything I would like but cant right now. I have to believe that she is making a decission based on what is best not just using this an excuse because she doesnt want to be with me. She always said that she believed I would leave her one day well that belief came true but it didnt have to. So where do I go from here? I respect her wishes. I dont make a scene, I dont try to convince her to take me back, I dont try to seduce her, I dont play games, I dont close myself off no matter how much I want to. There are some questions that I have and maybe one day I can get them answered but not today. Those are some of the things I dont do. What I can do is pick up an extra class in school, work a little more, get a job in the area that I actually want a career in, spend more time with my dog, spend some quality time with good friends, go motorcycle riding, give her the space she needs to figure out her issues, spend some time alone. I mean really alone. I believe that things dont happen to us they just happen and how we react is the most important. I cant control what other people do but I can control how I react. I love this woman very much and that wont disappear overnight. I dont want it to. Now I need some time to heal. Not to stop loving but to stop being sad.
Posted by thephoenixanddragon at 5:40 PM