Long time

Where has the time gone? So much has been going on and I have been so busy not sure where to start. To start off I got a phone call from the P.D's office and I started work today. Im going to be working as a legal sec. to about 4 different attorneys in the juvenile division. I absolutely love it. It is really great when you can see the reason for things that happen in your life. When I got laid off from the private attorneys office I had no idea I would be getting this. This is what I really wanted and it appears that this is the reason I lost the other job.
Over the holidays I had a pretty big revelation. I saw my grandmother and she didn't recognize me. She had a clue she knew who I was but she couldn't quite place me. After this I went outside and God and I had a little talk. I told him that I couldn't do this anymore . Meaning that I am so tired of trying to be in control, having to figure everything out, basically putting my hands into the works. I told him that I was ready to give up control to put my faith back into him and that everything that is happening is for a purpose and it isn't for my understanding. I told him that between my grandmother, my career, S, school, my plans for my future, I found out the guy that I was planning on having kids with has gotten back into drugs and isn't planning on sticking to our agreement, that everything was too much. After this I felt sense of peace that I didn't have the responsibility for things. Not meaning that I wasn't taking an active part but that I just didn't have to be in the drivers seat anymore. I constantly have to give him things because old habits are hard to break but It is getting less and less. I just have faith that everyting is as it should be even if I don't understand them. Im also finding that my change in attitude is changing how I act and react to things. I am tird of trying to be angry. Anger takes to much energy and that is not me. My attitude now is I just want to be. Accept whatever comes my way as just something that is. I have been so blessed by my family, friends and the life that I have. Not to mention my motorcycle. She has new shocks that I am putting on and she is getting new pipes. Thunderheaders!!! Those are the shit!!! LOUDER and FASTER!!! will give me more horsepower!! That's all the excitement I need!! Went out for a long ride last night the longest since April. Had such a great time. Just riding and really not thinking or analyzing anything. Went out by some lakes where it was so quiet. God it was nice!! Living in the moment. I think that's the key. Just enjoying what is when it is. Such a simple concept yet so difficult when Im trying to control things, trying to get them to turn out how I want them.
Finals are coming up, LSAT is on sat. working 2 jobs and trying to have a social life shit no wonder I havent been here in a while. But life is good and Im not waiting for the bomb to drop Im just taking things as they come. No expectations, just living in the moment.