work

I used to have a friend that said she wished I had a job that took so much out of me that I would be able to feel how exhausted she was at the end of the day. I don't understand why she would wish such a thing but she has gotten her wish. Im lying in bed going to passout after this is written. A friend wants me to go out with her and her girlfriend and I tried to explain that I just needed sleep. she didn't get it. I am absolutely exhausted. Every bit of energy goes into what I need to get accomplished during the day. Any extra energy goes to functioning. a consolation is that even though I am exhausted I feel like I accomplished something and it was a full day but a good day.
It isn't the job that is so difficult it is all the learning, remembering and trying to be perfect that is difficult. It is working 7 days a week and going to school for 9 hours. It is putting time in at the library and the studying that is making me exhausted. Now I know I have brought all this on myself but I am ready for a break. Finals are next week so only 1 more week to go than a little bit of rest until next semester. Im cutting down on the hours at Harley after the holidays so I can have a little time for me. I miss the long rides and the days at the dog park with my baby girl. I miss being able to spend the day in front of the t.v. doing nothing, or having a marathon of movies. Being able to stay up late or passing out at a friends house. O.K. Im done whining, I know all this hard work is getting me closer to where I want to be I just have to go a little bit longer then I can get that balance.
Work is going so great. A couple of the attorneys have told me that they will take me into the court with them so I can sit in on some arraignments, trials, and sentencing. ROCK ON !!! They also told me that they would put in a few hints that I could move up to a paralegal position when I had finished a few more of my classes and they said they would write me the letters of recommendation for law school. Haven't got my scores back yet but they are pushing me to start applying no matter what my scores are. It cant hurt, I guess the answer is still no if I don't apply. Going to apply to 5 schools. FSU, UF, Stetson. Barry, NOVA and maybe FAMU. walked into the office on Monday and they all asked how I thought I did. I told them that I consistently had about 5 questions that I just filled in the blank with and that after the test I had a anxiety attack and they all told me that was normal. They had the same experience.
I feel that I have focus back in my life. even though things are changing so much I feel as though I found my nitch, my passion. I feel like a different person. When I introduce myself I rarely do it as hoops anymore, I use my real name Cheryl. Even my friends have told me that I have a different energy about me and a different attitude about myself. I have gotten some self value again. Chris and Rick told me that they haven't seen me look this way in a while. It isn't all fun and games but the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train and I can do anything I want.