lightbulbs

Ever have one of those moments of clarity when eveything seems to be actually following some sort of logical pattern that can actually be undestood by you? When the light bulb goes off and a big AHHA follows. Today I had one of those moments of clarity. I got my LSAT scores back last night and they are good enough to get into two of the law schools that i am going to apply. I talked with the public defender today and he said he would write one of my refrence letters. (actually he told me to write it and he would sign it) it just seems like i have found my path. Eveything is falling into place for me. I love my jobs (all 3 of them) but especially the one at the P.D's office and they will even pay for some of my schooling. There isnt any doubt in my mind that this is where I need to be. Except today an attorney told me they were going to transfer to the State because I was to Republican to be on their side. I think the comment fry them all and let God sort them out might have given her that idea. HAHA I just wanted to see Marks head turn red.
Even my ideas about my ex has evolved. I realize that the only thing constant is change and that the feelings i had for her she doesnt share. It was just too simple for me to grasp. Just because I feel something so strongly doesnt mean someone else will too. And just because they once felt a certain way doesnt mean that they still do or that it takes away from what they once felt. The problem was that this concept was just too simple for me to grasp. For the longest time I was trying to figure out why we were in each others life. That was the other part of the lightbulb. The reason for me could possible have been to get me on the path that I am on now. I really do owe alot of it to her for motivating and supporting me to go after my passion. She helped me put the foot out there, granted it was me that took the first step but she gave alot of inspiration. Maybe for her I was just a way to help get her over the hump of her ex. To help soften the blow so to speak. It feels better to be able to acknowledge this. That there was a reason or a purpose. Maybe these werent the reasons maybe it was just a good time while it lasted but I choose to believe that these were the reasons, that I can walk away with something positive. Instead of thinking what I dont have or why I dont have it, to focus on what I do have. The glass is half full not half empty. I realize that just having this moment of clarity wont make eveything dandy but it is a first step.